When a friend is in need, there’s always the moment of, ‘I want to do something to help’ and then ‘what can I do?’
For your friend, it really depends. Sometimes they don’t know what they need or even how to ask for it. When I was recently diagnosed, people wanted to send food, but we had tons of food (and I couldn’t imagine us taking food when there were so many more in need). Sometimes friends did it anyways, and yes I’m still grateful (and still relishing that Dominican chicken soup from Ramel). Or all of the masks & random cards, gifts and more sent. All so grateful.
So when a local mom kept persisting with me after my recent surgery that she and others wanted to help me, I said...’well, I can’t do my work at my garden. Y’all can come do what I need done there.’
And come they did - Moms that I’ve known for nearly the past 8 years, and one since our kids were babes. Though my twins don't go to their school anymore, I've kept in touch with them more or less for the past two years. Mostly thanks to social media, but also community gatherings (not happening any time soon) or just passing on the street. Demetria and I both relish our 'last hug' we shared in the middle of the crosswalk on 145th & Broadway at the start of the pandemic. We literally looked at each other, paused, giggled and said, 'the hell with it,' and hugged right there as we both assumed it would be our last for a while.
Where was I? Oh yeah, these moms came and worked for several hours in the garden. Pulling out and harvesting tomatoes, cleaning and storing cages, turning the soil and adding compost! It was incredible. And when Larae, that mom that kept persisting couldn't make it to the garden (even though she was the one that gathered the masses), of course, she stopped by with amazing muffins.